Monday, 19 August 2013

why do we do it to ourselves?

The original title for this blog post was going to be:

Fuck, fuck, fuckety-fuck

So the last couple of weeks has seen me applying for a job for the first time in six years. No real reason, I'm fairly happy where I am currently, just something came up so I thought, what the hey?

Which means that the last couple of weeks I've been reminded what a MASSIVE PAIN IN THE ARSE it is applying for jobs.

First up, there's the application form. If you're like me, you'll agonise over every phrase, even before you get to choosing your referees. And don't get me started on the covering letter / email.

Maybe you get an interview, which is where the real fun starts. Especially if you have to prepare some kind of bloody task or presentation.

So yeah, that's where I've been the last fortnight. And because I'm talking about the arts, there's a ridiculously short turnaround.

For example, last week I was told I had an interview, which I had on Friday - including a presentation which I had to prepare.

No big deal but - to be honest - I was pretty dim as far as managing my energy was concerned in the run up. I had a late night at work on Wednesday, after which I needed to get my shit in order.

Which is why on Thursday I was convinced that I was having a relapse - I lost control of my legs and couldn't control my hands with any kind of precision.

This turned out to be very similar to the mini-relapse I had a few months back. After a good night's sleep, and a fairly low-stress and lazy morning, I went along to my interview.

In a new suit, if I say so myself, I looked the nazz.

With everything else that was going on, I didn't have as much time to prepare as I would've liked - which is why I'm unsurprised (but obviously disappointed) to report that I got an email over the weekend saying that the panel won't be taking my application further.

Why am I sharing this with you?

Job interviews are a MASSIVE PAIN IN THE ARSE anyway, regardless of our particular health issues. And I didn't honestly think I'd got the job - rerunning the interview in my internal insomniac cinema, there were too many, "ooh, I should've said THAT"s.

Don't get me wrong, there were some answers I was really pleased with. But still.

I dunno - I'm just kind of wondering where I go to next. Will I ever have another successful job interview?

Whatever. I'm not in any great rush to work somewhere else, and it's a luxury to be applying for jobs when you HAVE a job. And I DID get the interview.

But I'm still pretty pissed off that I put my family through the last few weeks - not only the application and preparing the presentation, but the touch-and-go of whether I was going to get to the interview.

In conclusion:



Megan Lewellyn said...

:) I can relate....2 years ago I went through the process of returning to the world of "real working folk" after being a stay at home mom for 12+ yrs. All three of my kids were WELL into full time school by that time, and my divorce added a huge bit of urgency to this return. I remember not only HATING the whole dang process of creating a resume (what DO you put for past 12 years - "superb maker of PB&Js, phenomenal at changing shitty diapers, skilled at talking a 5 year old down from a full blown tantrum...?")then the cover-letters and IF it went well, the interviews. BUT the stress of all of it, along with knowing that I HAD to find a job (plus REALLY wanting to find one that I at least liked if not loved) reeked havoc on my MS at the time.
Fortunately for me (and my bank account) I did find a job (and one that I like!) BUT sure do wish the process didn't suck so much.

stevedomino said...

Thanks Meg.

I know I'm lucky to be applying whilst I have a job - when I got my current position, I'd recently been made redundant and was scrabbling around for freelance work. It was such a relief!

A week on from my interview, I'm a bit more philosophical about the whole situation - being on holiday at the moment is certainly helping - but essentially, if you have got an interview, your application has convinced the panel that you can do the job in question. So job interviews are where you try to persuade other people (who are in a position of power) to like you. And I'm a nice guy!

Some you win, some you lose.

Keep on keeping on!

Ms. CrankyPants said...

I shudder at the thought of an interview with a PRESENTATION or something. How hideous. It's hard enough squeaking out answers to fairlt expected questions, much less putting on a show. HORRORS!

Ms. CrankyPants said...

And - word. They are a pain. Forgot to mention that in my rambling on about your presentation.

stevedomino said...

Thanks for sharing, Cranky! I'm glad I'm not alone...

But you'd have to be a unique kind of masochist to enjoy them!