Monday, 15 May 2017

will (home) work for food. and money

So it's been 5 months since I left my job. I've been doing more of that freelance work I mentioned before - certainly more than I was expecting, which has prevented me from doing much of anything else.

Aside from that, one of my other top time sponges is the filling-in of endless benefit forms - Housing benefit, two separate forms for PIP,  two for ESA so far with the promise of one more to come. Joy unconfined.

Which doesn't leave a whole lot of time (or energy) for looking for work, which has been on my mind a lot recently. This is because, leaving aside the aforementioned 5-monthiversary, I've realised that I can't really envisage a time when I'll feel able to work full time again.

When I look back to last year, I wonder how I managed to drag myself to work every day (without fail), even without considering the extra hours, weekend and holiday work, or how so very dispiriting that whole process was.

I feel better in myself but I think I'm spending a little too much time in my own head at the moment. Having said that I can't see me wanting to do any work which isn't home-based. The jobs are out there, I just need my applications to hit the right spot.

I had a fairly depressing realisation recently. A friend asked if I was enjoying my current short contract role - helping to coordinate marketing activity for this, which allows me to say I'm still part of the CULTURAL ELITE.

I said that I was loving it - the work is all about proofreading, copywriting/editing, brand management and partner coordination, which are all my favourite things to do (with a side order of BEING AN ARSE ABOUT GRAMMAR). But, I said, the main thing I like about it is that the people I'm working with are genuinely appreciative of and grateful for everything I do.

As soon as I said it, I thought: when you think I was in my last job for nine years, don't you think that's just a little bit sad?


honeysuckle said...

Hi Steve,

Interesting post.

I've been in a similar situation in some respects.

One of the joys of freelancing is that there are no meetings or targets that you're trying to achieve, so you're freer to do what you're good at and enjoy. And now you're independent, you too are probably much warmer to your colleagues who reciprocate by liking and appreciating you.

I liked my 'permanent job' colleagues, and we still send each other filthy jokes but the stress and emotional exhaustion of having to keep the show on the road undoubtedly was traumatic. Hidden MS, the fatigue, was more of a problem than I'd realised until I didn't have to curse the alarm each morning. Is this the same for you?

Wishing you continued contracts and the joy of working on your own terms and conditions!

stevedomino said...

Alright, HS!

My situation is similar, but I think I also can't envisage a time when I'll be physically and psychologically able to go to work - I'm utterly banjaxed (one of my absolute favourite words!) working from home, so I can't see how I ever did it before. TBH I'm still getting up at the same time each day - I am the house tea-boy and we have to get our daughter ready for school.

I definitely agree with you about the fatigue and hidden MS, and I'd also add the need to overcompensate so no-one can pin my "failings" on my health.

But yes, no more pointless meetings! Hallelujah!

swisslet said...

my job has just changed around me, and now I find myself managing a team which provides 24x7 cover... and since the change (at Easter), I've covered every single weekday evening 6pm-8am. I haven't actually been called all that much, but because it isn't a massive deal, doesn't mean it's no deal at all. I've also been working 8am-6pm most days too because my team is about half the size it should be and I'm concerned to make sure I don't place the burden on them (because I'm an AMAZING boss). I've been lucky with my health and I also actually really like the new role (which, as it's communications, also enables me to criticise other people's grammar and punctuation ALL THE TIME), but I'm a touch worried that I'd doing too much and might pay the price further down the line. Well, time will tell. (I had no choice in the move, incidentally).
Good to hear you're doing okay - we should met up again sometime soon and chew the fat.