To be honest I've not been feeling ALL THAT - mentally (rather than physically) on a bit of a downer.
Christmas (seems like ages ago now) was good but really tiring. Everybody wanted to see Evie (she is GORGEOUS) so there was a lot of to-ing and fro-ing for us. And then obviously Annabel's death was quite the curve-ball.
In the weeks leading up to the break I had my final sessions of Physio AND CBT. Honestly, it felt like I was being abandoned at some kind-of existential turn-pike.
But it didn't really hit me until much later.
So I can talk a good game as far as POSITIVITY and MINDFULNESS but every now again things can bite you on the ass.
And the old fears are still there. But I know what I have to do to beat them - pushing myself to go for walks (with or without Evie), exercise, testing my bladder retention (sorry, no easy way to say it). But it's hard when the other option (do nothing) is so FRICKING EASY.
In a couple of weeks I've got another appointment with the urologist - it's taken ages to come round. So this weekend I need to fill out a voiding chart - literally measuring everything that goes in and out.
No-one told me that adult life was going to be same damn GLAMOROUS.
So I've decided to post a series of things which GENUINELY help me in all kinds of little ways.
Wooden Tea Tray (seriously)
Like most people with MS I can have problems with my balance. I remember a short one after my diagnosis going win Emma to a little coffee house. And as she went to buy the drinks, I had one of those newly-diagnosed-person's overly-dramatic thoughts: "I'm NEVER going to be able to buy her food and/or drinks EVER AGAIN!"
Obviously now, after nearly 10 years together, there's a definite element of "I wish" but I digress.
At home I'm the morning person (you can tell because of my sunny disposition, yeah?), whereas she can not be roused without a cup of tea (with biscuits, natch). So over the years there have been many spilled brews, ruined paintwork and much early-morning gnashing-of-teeth (i.e. turning the air blue).
Cups would slide around on plastic trays so I often resorted to holding two cups in one hand, keeping one free for the stair-rail.
Until that is I got my hands on this little wooden beauty. Nice big handles for gripping. Not-too-smooth wooden surface which actually grips the things you're carrying. Plus any minor spillages get soaked into the wood.
It's a little thing. But it helps us to get the day started right.
Somehow, when I looked at the mugs on the tray, after reading about measuring the contents of your bladder, I thought...well, I thought they were mugs of urine.
ReplyDeleteYes, doing nothing is so often the most appealing (i.e., easiest) course. I've managed to convince myself that this blogging business counts as accomplishing something: therapy, practicing my writing, maybe giving someone a laugh...
Sorry you've felt a bit down, but glad to see you're thinking of things that make your life easier (like a wooden tray that reliably grips mugs of pee). Also, glad to see you back online!
Ms. C-P
mmm. a nice cup of tea and a sit down. Never fails. I also have a wooden tray, FWIW, although I still frequently spill stuff all round the house because I don't use it! The current bane of my life are the exercises I have to do for a poorly knee brought about by dropping my left leg when I get tired and the associated wear and tear. I know they're good for me and they help me stay mobile, but they hurt and sometimes I just plain don't want to work on strengthening my glutes or thrust over my knee or roll my thighs on a foam roller. I do, but I don't like doing it. Grr.
ReplyDeleteStill, it's hard to be cross when I'm sitting next to a radiator with a nice cup of tea listening to the late Kevin Ayers.... Nice to see you back, Steve.
Hi Steve!
ReplyDeleteWas wondering how you were doing - good to see you back in the blogosphere!
Lovely post. Funnily enough, I have been thinking about getting a tray for a while and you have just given me a kick to do it, lol.
Also, can you send those voucher code thingies for Sainsbury's - want to give it a try!
X
Ha - you guys, I've been meaning to post about my tea tray for a while so I took the picture ages ago. Real life (and the blue meanies) got in the way.
ReplyDeleteI never made the link between the image and the first section - I was too pleased that the song I was listening to (from Kendrick Lamar's frankly ASTONISHING "Good Kid, m.A.A.D City" album - music post coming soon) gave me a post title which seemed to refer to my wife's need for tea.
Thanks a lot for your comments - I would've responded earlier but I was doing my "hunter-gatherer" bit (i.e. Friday Night Fish & Chips).
Much love!
X
By the way SIF, if you want to give online grocery shopping a try, I'll need to have yr email address - is it on yr site anywhere? If not, send me a DM on Twitter - the code will be for Ocado, you know it makes sense!
ReplyDeleteHi there, great to see you back. Lovely tray btw, nothing like natural products. Have you considered one of those cup/mug thingy holders, in which the cup/mug can stand? Actually, on second thoughts, that would slide around too unless made to measure, so maybe not such a great idea-as obviously you would already have done this!
ReplyDeleteShame about the low mood, hope it lifts as real Spring (ignore today's sleet) just around the corner, hopefully. Although this is England, so anything can happen.
Seriously, hope that you soon feel a bit more hopeful. From memory, small children, (correction children), however delightful , are exhausting. Plus MS is a bitch, but so is much of life. Bet that's cheered you up!
All the best.
Thanks for your cheery words, Honeysuckle! ;)
DeleteAgreed, children are exhausting at any age. I constantly ask myself, why (or sometimes even HOW!) do people have more than one???!?