But whenever I start to think about writing them down, the whole world turns to shit.
War in Ukraine, Boris bloody Johnson, loss of female bodily autonomy, the inexorable rise of the right on a global scale - the list of historically significant events just seems like it will never stop.
And now - in the week when I genuinely intended to get some writing done - the world is actually on fire. I mean, I know that the theory of the heat death of the universe is a thing. I just never thought I'd be living through it.
And yet again, when the news sources talk about the potential loss of life, who's the last to get on the metaphorical lifeboats? Who's the redshirt?
Yes, it's the aged and those with underlying health conditions.
I mean, it's not as though COVID has ever gone away - over 200,000 dead in the UK, the last I checked. But also, clinging on like a stubborn piece of crap that refuses to shift from the toilet bowl, are the Deniers and the Right-To-Normal-Lifers.
You know, the ones who pop up all over the place to say that, if COVID is as bad as you think (200,000), us people with underlying health conditions should just stay indoors, cowering, while the people of real significance are allowed to go about their lives. They have a life to live, dammit!!
It's the same with the heat. Some wag has already made a crack that it's obviously the snowflakes who will melt in the summer sun. It's just summer! Go back to bed!
Well. You would have to be brain dead to not be worried by the current global fronts. Yes, the weather happens. But this is insane.
It reminds me of the oppressive heat when we were last on holiday in Venice - as an aside, I can't imagine getting into a flying test tube of germs anytime soon. But that weather was too much, even for Italy.
Now there are fires all over Europe so I think we're beyond the realm of regular summer, right?
Anyway, I have an offer for the NORMAL people out there in the UK.
Basically, we'll treat the country as a timeshare. One month on, one month off. Both groups will need to share Christmas, obviously, but I'd even let them have an extra winter month if that might appeal.
In their months they can roam around, maskless and vaccine-free, snogging and shaking hands with gay abandon, coughing in the face of understanding and decent citizenship. We'll leave you to it, as long as all the theatres and cinemas and sporting events are available to stream (because ACCESSIBILITY).
In our months, you can stay indoors. We'll have the choice to go out wearing our masks with pride, maintaining social distance, safe in the knowledge that we won't be called weak or pathetic and that those around us at least understand why we're being careful.
What do you think?
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