small victories (a continuing series?)

So for the last couple of days, I've been walking into work - not a massive deal, except that this is the first time in about three and a half years.

Following the second relapse I had in 2009, I've been either getting taxis (paid for through Access to Work) or driving into work and using my Blue Badge for 3 hour periods throughout the day.

this shows the GENUINE route I drive from home (A) to work (B)

Again, not a massive deal - but I happen to live what is - on a good day - a SEVEN MINUTE walk away (that's what Google Map says, anyway).

The walk into work was one of the things I talked about a lot in my CBT sessions last year. And it's been starting to become A THING.

Y'know - one of those things that, the longer it goes on, the worse it seems in your mind. By way of an example, my Mum stopped driving when she had me and my brother and didn't start again for about 10 years - by which time it had become a terrifying monster of massive proportions.

So I've been determined that this wouldn't happen to me - which is why over the last few months we've been making a conscious effort to go out for little walks. Sometimes me and THE CHILD will go for a quick walk to the shops which is lovely.

A couple of weeks ago, I realised that some of these 'little walks' added up to distances far beyond the walk into work - just from looking at the map above, you can probably pick out a route I can take which is somewhat more direct than driving. But still it loomed large in my head - what if my leg gets all draggy and heavy? What if I'm exhausted by the time I get in?

Last Friday I did the walk (with some preparation) - and although it was hard, I found that I actually had more energy throughout the rest of the day. And I felt pretty proud of myself.

I think I've mentioned before that my boss seems to suffer with Foot-In Mouth syndrome? After saying that it was impressive that I'd done the walk in after so long, he then said:

So what made you do it today? And what stopped you doing the walk before now?
D'you think it was just laziness?

I'll let you provide your own slow handclap.

FULL DISCLOSURE - the walk has seemed increasingly difficult the last two days, but I guess I need to build up some strength gradually.

And even though the walk back last night was super-hard (in my defense there is a slight incline), it was nice to see motorists getting exasperated with the tight turns and narrow roads around where we live - just thinking "that could be ME".