Sunday, 29 April 2012

lighten yr load

My Dad and me concluded the 'life-laundry' I spoke about before. I was moving a lot easier so I ACTUALLY LEFT THE HOUSE and accompanied my dad to the tip with two car-loads of crap. We've even managed to clear our garage - we could almost fit our car in there now we've got rid of 2yrs of dust sheets, boxes, saucepans. Like I said before, recommended.

The main impetus for all this is that, once I return to my job fully, I'm going to request the option to do more from home.

There's no part of my job that I can't do from home (apart from endless, pointless f**king meetings). And fatigue is a big part of this condition, obviously - by the time I've showered, shaved and dressed myself in the morning I'm usually totally banjaxed.

And before you ask, yes, my (male) boss does comment if I come into work without shaving or in my 'scruffs'. Slightly Tongue-in-cheek, but it IS noted.

So the study is getting sorted to enable me to do this, and maybe create a spare bedroom, too. At the moment if I'm a bit insomniac, or if my leg spasms just get a bit too 'disco-leg', I disturb Emma, and that's no good.

So. 6 weeks (more or less) of continuous relapse later. This has been the hardest one yet:

  • The weather has been uniformly SHIT.
  • Oral steroids absolutely SUCK BALLS. Yes, having a cannula in yr wrist for three days of trips to the hospital is nobody's idea of fun. But at least it's going straight into your system. Having to digest them fully first just made me feel dreadful.
  • This is the first relapse since we've had Evie. The hardest thing has been being unable to help out more with her care. When I gave her a bath the other night for the first time since this all started, it was really emotional for me.

But despite all that, I've managed to achieve quite a lot (here comes another list!):

  • I've got back involved with this blog. I'm not even sure how helpful or informative it is but it has certainly helped me over the last couple of weeks. If you're out there, the odd comment wouldn't go amiss.
  • Oxybutynin is definitely helping me with my bladder issues. Cheers.
  • I've referred myself for some Cognitive Behavioural Therapy.

I was diagnosed 6/7yrs ago and I don't think I've ever really dealt with it. Plus I've got a very short fuse and tend to Sweat the Small Stuff - where's my wallet, where did I park my car, that sort of thing. And there are a lot of great things about my life.

So why am I frequently down about it and myself?

This condition isn't going anywhere anytime soon. Might be a good idea to get some coping strategies.

PS - My appointment is in September...

Going to try going into work for a couple of hours tomorrow. Let's see how long it takes for that to wind me up.

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