Thursday 10 May 2012

the invisible disability

2nd week of a staggered return to work. The fatigue I wrote about last week is 'manageable' but I have to be majorly careful about doing too much.

I've had relapses in the past where I've returned to work full-time way too quickly - hence the 'softly-softly' approach.

But in the past week my boss has been telling me I look really well, while at the same time gently asking me when I think I'll be back in the office full-time.

I've heard MS referred to as The Invisible Disability - I guess this is what they mean:

  • I come to work everyday
  • I'm very conscientious
  • I'm good at my job
  • and apparently I look fricking great!

However, when I finish my 4 or 5 hours, I go home and I'm completely beat. Which people don't see.

This doesn't make me special or unusual, and most people reading this will have EXACTLY THE SAME THING happening on a fairly regular basis.

Just sharing, is all.

See the MS Society's excellent 'Fighting Back' report for research into the affect diagnosis can have on MSers careers, amongst other things.

Friday 4 May 2012

puppet on a string

So I've just finished my first week at work since the middle of March. I did between 4 and 5 hours a day, with one day working from home.

Everyone at work has been cool, pleased to see me looking well, and I did some good bits if work that no-one else can do. Which is nice.

On the whole, things have been fine with the reduced hours.

But like the majority of people with this 'wacky' disease, I've had to endure attacks of MS Fatigue before. And I had one particular instance of that this week.

I was chatting to a colleague about this and that, and when he left the room it was just like someone had cut the strings on a puppet. Or as if someone had pulled the plug out of a jukebox while it was playing.

Mentally and physically it was 'Game Over' for me for the next 24 hours.

It was bonkers. MS Fatigue is the most common symptom that we get, and it's the hardest one to try to explain.

Which is why we resort to talking about puppets and jukeboxes (well, I do anyway).

And I know everyone gets tired. And I'm guilty of just saying "I'm tired" when in reality what I need to say is, "I'm physically and mentally exhausted".

But who has the energy?