i believe in... miracles?

Over the past couple of weeks I've made a recovery that is nothing short of miraculous. Not 100% back to where I was but maybe 70%. 

Four weeks ago I was completely immobile. It took both my parents to get me on the toilet, and in order to avoid accidents I was going to the toilet every 60/90 minutes. Despite that I was wetting the bed up to three times a night. 

After I stopped taking Tamiflu, I gradually got more strength back (I say gradually because that's how it felt to me but really, I was improving in the first week). Using a rollator I was able to stand up straight, straighter than I do when I use my walking sticks, and walk around the house. One night I woke up needing the toilet and I was able to get there (on time!) on my own. That was big. 

After a couple of nights of this I've since been sleeping through with no issues - Intermittent Self Catheterisation FTW. 

Washing during the worst of my days was a scooch of deodorant and a wet wipe or a quick dab of soap and water in my parent's kitchen. My mum washed my hair in the same way. 

Now I'm able to get upstairs and into the shower, washing and drying myself independently. 

FULL DISCLOSURE: all of these little victories leave me utterly exhausted. But still, it's really amazing how it has happened. 

Last week I went home for the day for an assessment with a community nurse. She asked me loads of questions, had a good walk around the house and watched me walking with the rollator (excellent) and my sticks (better than before, thanks to the rollator, but so much more tiring.) 

Earlier today I got a call from the medical equipment company and everything we wanted will be delivered and installed next week. 

US readers: did I mention this will be free of charge? GOD SAVE THE NHS. 

The main thing is, next week I should be back living at home - for the first time since the end of December.

an overdue update

First things first. Today, just over a week after I finished my course of Tamiflu, I actually walked upstairs for the first time since the last week of December.

Perhaps even more importantly, I also made it downstairs safely.

When I think about where I was a week ago, it's actually mind-blowing.

Tamiflu is an incredibly powerful drug. And the ten day course really knocked me about.

But the most upsetting side effect of the flu and Tamiflu  was the fact that I effectively lost control of my bladder.

Obviously I was keeping my fluids up and was self-catheterising as well as I could. But even with that I still had about a week where I was waking up two to three times a night having soakedthe bed. And this was even with the use of some pretty heavy-duty incontinence pants/pads - sometimes more than one item at the same time. 

A friend of the family - who is a community nurse - said that my body was solely focused on fighting the flu. So all of my usual MS symptoms were basically allowed to run unchecked, and in my case that included bladder weakness. 

Now I know that people with MS deal with this and more all the time. But as a person who has spent many years working to gain control over his bladder it was a real kick in the teeth. That old MS issue of your body letting you down again. 

For the last few nights, I've been able to get out of bed (by myself, using a rollator) to get to the toilet in time. And for a couple of nights, I've even slept through! Imagine.

What's the point of all this oversharing? 

When I spoke to the MS nurse she said that there are a lot of people with MS who are catching the flu. So if you are dealing with this and your body is concentrating on fighting the flu, you may - like me - go through a period when your MS symptoms start going crazy. As such, the chances are that these symptoms will start to calm down as soon as the flu - and Tamiflu - are out of your system.

I am by no means out of the woods. But I'm walking more, with the aid of a rollator, and I'm doing more for myself.

Having "conquered" the stairs (HA!), we're looking at things that will make it easier for me to move around our home. So like we did after my last relapse, we're getting an Occupational Therapist in to suggest adaptations to make things easier.

So things are going in the right direction.

But still. Baby steps.

help me make it through the night

Here's a thing. I've noticed that whenever I drink white wine in the evening I have to get up for a wee in the middle of the night. 

Now. I'm well aware this might not be exactly news to some of you. But hold up.

I'm still using intermittent self-catheterisation several times a day. And even if I have a good "drain" (sorry!) before bed, I still need to get up to go to the loo after drinking white wine.

However, if I drink red wine or beer, I can and do sleep through with no problem. And I'm not totally desperate for the bog when I wake up. 

Full disclosure: I've never been a big drinker. I fact, I didn't even start drinking properly until my second year at University, which was when I finally got the taste for it.

Incidentally, it always seemed silly to me that there are things that you have to "work hard" at in order to like them. Like smoking, drinking whiskey and listening to Wagner. I think that the reason I finally got to like drinking alcohol was because of all the fags and weed I was smoking. Who can say.

Anyway, I'm not saying that we've been drinking more than normal (although we have just moved house). But I do think I need to undertake more extensive research.

But has anyone else noticed that this is an issue for them or not, depending on what they've been drinking?

And, if there any brewologists out there, is there a scientific basis for what I've noticed? Or is it all in my head? 

And finally, if anyone is having issues with their bladder and the idea of self-catheterisation is horrific to them, please hear this. 

For me, it has been life-changing. Yes, it's undoubtedly a weird thing at first. But in my experience, after an initial period it simply becomes a question of logistics and preparation. And the benefits of uninterrupted sleep and the possibility of travel far outweigh the "ick." 

Here endeth the lesson.