biting the hand that feeds

Long-time visitors will know that I am a bit of an arse and as such I have a number of pet-peeves – including but in no way limited to:

• People who moan all the bloody time [a bit rich, Mr Domino?]
• The bloody Spoon Theory
• Inspirational aphorisms  - “I have MS but it doesn't have me” (oh really? Is this on day two or day three of your steroid infusion?)

This week, I've hilariously added the MS Society to the list...

I fully appreciate that the charity obviously does a huge amount of good work for people like me who have been landed with this crappy condition. But sometimes I do get cross with them.

The other day we received a copy of their Christmas catalogue and there were a number of items sporting the slogan, "I'm not drunk, I have MS".

I admit – in the early days of my diagnosis, I might have had a bit of a rueful chuckle at that. But now it just gets my back up.

By linking being drunk (a potentially pleasant experience which doesn't last forever) with MS (deeply unpleasant at times, no cure at present) are we not belittling ourselves and the condition we struggle with on a daily basis? Some people could see this slogan and think that, if being drunk and having MS are so easily confused and interchangeable – even on the most basic level – well, what's the big deal?

So far so nit-picky.

But my real problem with it is that as a statement it's arsey and juvenile – and not a little confrontational. Yes, some people need educating and they shouldn’t jump to conclusions about people's situations – but is being so "in-their-face" all that useful?

It links to my thoughts about moaning above – like the Sp*on The*ry, this kind of thing just makes us look all whiny, complainy and weak. And speaking personally, if I'm talking to someone and they try to lay something on me in a similar fashion, nine times out of ten I'll make my excuses and avoid them.

I get that this kind of thing could spark a conversation which could allow us to advocate for our condition – but the slogan is on items in a Christmas catalogue. If I presented them to (for example) my mum or even work colleagues, they would think (with some justification), "oh God, Steve's banging on about his MS again – does he really think we've forgotten? We know. We wish we could do something about it."

On the whole, the people who will see this statement (on a T-shirt or a pint glass) are already on our side – we're preaching to the choir, to the people who already have our back. 

It's not as if a t-shirt is going to alter the perception of someone who makes a daft comment when we're staggering down the street – that level of education is somewhat bigger than a bottle opener. And yes I know the conversation has to start somewhere, but is this really as sophisticated as our argument gets?

I'm really not trying to pick a fight with an organisation which does so much good. But I've seen the kind-of passive-aggressive attitude implied by this slogan a bit too much in the MS community over the years. People who almost rear up to offload their symptoms in the opening rounds of a game of Disability Bingo, scoring points when they find out that I still work full-time.

And I'm not denying the cathartic power of this phrase when we're feeling a bit crappy - but on a t-shirt? As a major campaign slogan for (arguably) the leading MS charity in the UK?

One final point which my wife made - if someone is walking down the street and their gait is so poor that they look inebriated, maybe they should be using a walking stick? Or some other kind of mobility aid?

I've talked on here in the past about my initial problems with using my stick. Maybe the MS Society's time might be better spent destigmatising (certainly amongst younger people with MS) the use of sticks / walkers / wheelchairs.

FINALLY finally, here are a couple of alternative slogans – feel free to appropriate!

• Myelin, Mai Tai… Your round [needs more work but shows promise]
• I am drunk AND I have MS! [probably my favourite - especially if it says Let's Party! on the back]
• I have a chronic neurological condition, therefore I drink [a bit long for a t-shirt – maybe a scarf?

And of course, my old favourite - I have MS (it is what it is)