unexpected mail

don't know about Posy but PIP is obviously the scariest monster

Always such a delight to receive something totally unexpected through the mail.

But with a wearying sense of the utterly predictable I got something entirely expected from the Department for Work and Pensions earlier today,

Yes, they've turned down my application for PIP again - almost a year to the day since I submitted my first application for this benefit.

In the last couple of hours I've gone from resigned to enraged to depressed. I'm now at the next stage - utterly determined to take this to the next level and a tribunal. So this is what we'll be setting in motion starting tomorrow.

The MS Society has recently been surveying people with MS about their experiences with PIP - if somehow you've missed it (I've received the link through a number of different sources), I'd ask you to take a look at this short survey. It takes about 20 minutes to fill in.

As you can tell by the following extended answers from my submission, I gave them both barrels - and this was even before this morning's letter!

I lost my previous job in December 2016. At that point I had to apply to move over from DLA to PIP. I submitted my application in January 2017 and was assessed in July (shortly after having two significant relapses). Despite this I was turned down, even after a Mandatory Reconsideration.

In September I reapplied so that additional factors which had come in between the two applications could be considered - adaptations around the home, increased use of a wheelchair, change of medication, CBT therapy for depression/suicidal thoughts, Physiotherapy, Intermittent self-catheterisation.I was turned down after my second assessment in October and am currently awaiting the result of a further Mandatory Reconsideration.

The financial strain that this has put on myself and my family has been considerable. If this second appeal fails we will be forced to go to a tribunal, meaning additional - in our eyes, unnecessary - stress, upheaval and uncertainty.

PIP as a process is completely at odds with a condition like MS, and the notes which came back following my two assessments bore no relation to the topics discussed – for example, how can someone state that I can walk between 50 and 200m when during the appointment I was unable to raise myself up from my wheelchair?

Filling out the forms involves exposing incredibly personal and humiliating aspects of our lives. To then have someone judge you and effectively accuse you of lying is utterly demoralising. Although I was lucky enough to have both assessments in my own home, this also meant that there was someone who came into my house and judged me without either an ounce of empathy or a care for the affect their decision would have on me and my family. I also question how much they knew about a condition like MS.

The strain on me and my wife has seen us at breaking point for most of the last 13 months – and although our daughter is only 6, this uncertainty will doubtless affect her too.

Nobody wants to feel that they are useless, and people with a fluctuating condition such as MS are used to talking in terms of "worst days" – this might have been accepted for DLA but with PIP this is viewed with palpable suspicion.

Filling out the form is confusing, depressing and demoralising, as is being submitted to the assessment. It is only through the support of close family and friends that we have survived so far – I can't imagine how more vulnerable people can cope but I know that often they don’t.